I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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