Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
