it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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