dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
