You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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