Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
