It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
