i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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