ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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