well you can't waste a boner
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
