I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
