i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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