Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Randomize
