ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
