ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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