Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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