i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
