Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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