Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
