i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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