There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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