Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
