I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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