I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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