I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
