so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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