Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
