I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize