no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize