fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
