A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
