Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
