For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
