The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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