I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
