Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
