If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize