I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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