Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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