seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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