there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
