where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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