i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
