so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
