At least make sure they are 18
Why
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
