Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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