its not stalking. its research.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
