Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Randomize
