So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
