My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
