Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
