and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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