You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
