you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
