That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize