she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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