paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is it because I queefed?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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