Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Randomize
