You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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