If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
