These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
